Fire of Brazil melted my credit card!

So last night, my wife beat me into submission and forced me to take her to this new restaurant, Fire of Brazil. She was nice enough to meet me at my workplace so that I wouldn't have drive home in excruciatingly painful Friday afternoon traffic, so I told her we could eat wherever she wanted. We had never been there before, and the name sounded intriguing (though we had no idea what kind of food they had) and so she wanted to try it.

I on the other hand, had formed only one opinion about the place: it sounded real expensive. I wasn't worried though ... I figured being Friday evening the place would be packed with people, and there would be a long wait, so I could probably get out of going. Alas, 'twas not to be! When we arrived, there was no wait at all (curses!), and we were promptly seated, thereby thwarting my plans!

Shortly thereafter our server came by and asked us if we had ever been there before. After discovering we were noobs, she explained to us that there were no menus. They had a salad bar, with both "Brazilian" and "American" salads which we could help ourselves to. Then there were these little cards on the table, one for each of us. One side was green and said, "Yes, please, throw more slop in the trough" and the other was red and said, "For God's sakes, can't you tell my stomach is about to burst?". OK, I may not remember the wording precisely, but it was something to that effect. So, the idea was, when we were done with our salads, we should turn the green side up, and some gentlemen with very large, sharp knives would pay us a visit. To bring us food. After taking our drink order, Donna (being the smart one) decide to inquire as to the price. Now, I'm not going to tell you how much it was, because I'm too embarassed for people to know how much I paid for dinner. (Hey, if you are determined, you can do the research!) Let's just say, given the choice, if I was going to spend that kind of money, I would definitely rather go to McKendrick's.

Sounded simple enough, so we went to the salad bar. Now I have to say, Donna loved the salad bar. In fact, that was her favorite part, I think. I was not as impressed. They had a bunch of foofoo salad fixings that didn't do much for me. I ended up with lettuce and some salad dressing. So far I was definitely not getting my money's worth. Donna, on the other hand, came back with a plate piled full of stuff that I ordinarily would not even recognize as being edible. She seemed quite happy, however.

So while we are grazing on our salads, the server brings our frosty beverages of choice, and also brings out a little bread basket. Now I don't remember what they were called, but they were these little dough balls with just a hint of cheddar in them. I was going to just try one, since I'm doing the low carb thing and all, but after trying one I decided that I was officially designating this meal as a "cheat" meal. A couple minutes later, our server brought out some kind of fried banana thing, where the bananas were rolled in cinammon. I am not partial to bananas, and since they aren't low carb (please don't question the contradictory logic of the last few sentences), I didn't have any. Donna informed me that they were quite tasty however.

OK, let's bring on the real food. With anticipation, I turned my card from red to green, and .... nothing happened! Well, not for a couple of minutes anyway. Then, a nice young man strolled up with a beef-laden skewer and asked me if I'd like some. Not being the rude type, I said yes. So, I started to dig in and before I had taken two bites another guy walked up with a chicken wrapped in bacon on a skewer. "Now we're talkin'!", I thought to myself. Before I knew it there was a steady parade of these guys. Finally I had to turn my card to red because I just could not keep up with the onslaught of food being heaped on my plate. Meanwhile, honey was still working on her foofoo salad. Let's just come right out and say it, she's weird! In fact, I told her that. Which is how I got this shin injury. But that's a story for another time.

Eventually, after the accumulation of several animal carcasses, it was time to pay the bill. This was definitely my least favorite part of the meal (even when you factor in the whole salad bar experience). When the server brought back my credit card, it was still warm and partially liquefied.

In all, I I'm glad we tried it though because it was really a different type of dining experience, but I don't think we can afford to go back for at least another two or three years.